Gachat | Text

[willworkfordps]

Good evening, fellow doomed people. We should come up with a better name than that.

This is Orion Kislev, Level 70 Healer/Chronomancer, formerly. In case any of you come from a planet that doesn't have video games for some reason, this whole place seems to be based on those to some extent, and that means we're probably all doomed to get addicted to whaling for Orbs deep into the hours of the night. As soon as we figure out how that works, anyway.

So far, we mainly have this whole... slime... situation. I've spent a bit of time over on Slimeworld and it seems like it gets pretty complex once you get into it. Judging by the info I've been able to pick up, you'll need a combination of opposing gem slimes and color slimes to stand a chance in the harder dungeons, then to focus on long chains of 4-combos to maximize damage output. Or something, I'm still sorting out the details.

These pink slimes, though. I went over all the numbers, talked to any locals I could about any kind of secret special powers they have or anything. As far as I can tell, nothing. They're bullshit trap options with no redeeming characteristics, and I have a sneaking suspicion that this Sensei person does not have our best interests at heart.

No idea what to make of the pulls. I got a 5-star right off the bat, so either I'm blessed with abnormal luck or the rates are actually pretty decent. I'm gonna be trying to sort out the game mechanics for this world as I go, since none of this came with a particularly helpful instruction manual. Let me know if you figure anything out, I'm gonna try to get a wiki together eventually.

Orion out.

Comments

[effthecops]

way to be optimistic, dude

calling us "doomed" right off the bat like this is the worst thing in the world

like

chill.

[willworkfordps]

Don't judge me. Being weird and melodramatic is my coping mechanism.

[effthecops]

aight i can respect that

at least you admit it or w/e

also i got a 1, 2, and 3 star. dunno if it helps but one of the things i got was my own

[willworkfordps]

Congrats. What was it?

[effthecops]

the ability to play bass at an above average level

which, to be fair, i would also rate at a 2-star level

[willworkfordps]

That is legitimately a skill with more real life applications than any amount of eye lasers.

[effthecops]

dude, what, are you kidding me

i'd trade so much for the ability to have eye lasers, they'd be like

the ultimate trump card

you could get so much in life if you had eye lasers

everyone would respect you and give you free pizza probably

[willworkfordps]

Sure, it SOUNDS good, but you get to use it basically once before you're locked in to eventually die in a laser shootout with the police. Playing the bass just makes you slightly more interesting at parties, which is a universal buff.

[effthecops]

okay just from that i know you haven't actually everp layed the bass b/c it's not as cool as you think it is

in fact it has actively damaged my party cred

and also dying in a laser shootout with the police is the coolest way to go, probably. especially if the cops also somehow have lasers

[willworkfordps]

This being another dimension, it's entirely possible that local law enforcement DOES have lasers.

[effthecops]

HELL YEAH WE GOT LASERCOPS

[After a moment.]

oh shit they probably have experience with their lasers unlike me who would probably be shooting them off randomly like a teenage scott summers

i bet the ability to actually control your lasers eyes would be a different regain or some such bullshit

[willworkfordps]

That would be unfortunate. You'd have to avoid looking at anything, ever.